I came to end of myself in March 2003. I was completely exhausted. Since I became a believer in 1992 I had done my very best to live the Christian life, and I had agonizingly painfully experienced that I had undertaken mission impossible. I thus entered a deep depression. In addition there were unresolved issues from my past I had to deal with.
In retrospective I clearly see that God had me where He wanted me. The law had done its job and had led me to Christ. I was now in a position where God could reveal His grace without having me struggling against His love. Rapidly my faith in Christ’s finished work grew. I clearly understood that I had died with Christ at the cross and that I was dead to the law. I wasn’t under its dominion. In fact I never had since the day I accepted Him.
During the summer of 2009 the Spirit began taking me to new levels of revelation. I hadn’t merely died with Christ, but I was also resurrected with Him to live in an unbreakable union with Him. He applied two key verses in the scriptures to open my spiritual eyes:
To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. (Col 1:27)
I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. (Gal 2:20)
An absolutely necessary prerequisite for those awesome truths to settle has been to lead me out of the organized church. Within its limited confines God would have had severe problems convincing me about His unfathomable grace and the almost inexplicable union life.
My settled position is that I am joined in one spirit with Him. I am a perfect manifestation of His divinity, and I am a partaker of divine nature. My life in the flesh I live as Him. I am as He is, and am set completely free to be a perfect expression of myself.
(Written March 2010)