I was once introduced to the idea that there is a difference between soul doubt and spirit (heart) doubt. I am well acquainted with soul doubt and how the soul now and then panics. In increasing degree I have been empowered to discern between soul and spirit and am thus enabled more often than before to press through soul variations to the core which is without disturbances. Admittedly, wrestling with soul doubt has more than once cast long shadows of condemnation on my path.
Jesus famous words in Mark 11 concerning the word of faith and prayer have stood before me more than once as something almost outside my reach – not least because of these recurring seasons of doubt. In verse 23 Jesus says something very comforting: “….and does not doubt in his heart….” The heart is the key. In other words those who do not doubt on the spirit level will say to this mountain be thou cast into the sea and it will happen according to their word.
At this junction a most vital issue is brought to light: Does there exist spirit (heart) doubt? We are all familiar with soul doubt and how it plays out, but what about heart doubt? How does it play out?
Before I proceed l have to stress that I have made the Spirit my only teacher in all matters totally relying on Him for enlightenment and for explaining unresolved matters that are still shrouded in dimness. And that was how I approached my problem concerning heart doubt. I asked Him for an explanation.
The answer was most staggering and liberating. “How can there be spirit doubt when your spirit is joined to my Spirit?” “How can such a thing exist when we are one person and Christ is your life?” “The answer to your dilemma is again faith. You simply say that you do not have such a thing as heart doubt. And this is a faith resolve everyone has to make for herself or himself.”
But, what is the point of having soul doubts, we might ask. Our souls are go-betweens between this world and our spirit/Spirit union and can thus we tempted in both directions. I am constantly tempted upwards to see this thing as from God, but I am also tempted downwards seeing myself as if I am doing this thing apart from God. In this tension field of soul emotions and doubt faith is exercised and developed. These soul disturbances are meant to press us into faith. They are our springboard to God’s faith which He has freely given us and which we now can exercise with divine boldness.
Boldness not understood as we are addressing a God apart from us, but a God that speaks out of us in like manner as the voice of God spoke out of the burning bush.