It probably was an accident that he tripped over his shoes. It most likely also was an accident that his head hit the bed post when his body took a different turn from the one he had planned. It surely wasn’t an accident, however, that he had added almost 50lbs the last couple of years. At this moment he severely regretted that lack of attention towards his body. Now his body felt too heavy to move. The pool of blood that surrounded his head was still growing. But, his mind seemed to be still working.
As far as he could remember he had always been an optimist, but right now his mind was occupied with thoughts that were far from jolly. How the heck could this happen? Was he severely injured? Would he ever be able to walk again? Would he die like this in a pool of blood while his body slowly but surely lost its strength? How much blood was there in an average body? And how much of it had he lost?
He had granted himself one indulgence. A cleaning lady. But, she wouldn’t turn up before in two days. Once a week would do perfectly, he had told her. As a book reading bachelor he didn’t generate that much dust or whatever people generated that needed to be attended to. Perhaps he should have told her twice a week?
A sense of defeat and hopelessness overwhelmed him. He closed his eyes.
His thoughts drifted to his grandmother whose christian faith more than once had been an object of his contempt. Condescendingly he had given her an ear now and then when she with her calm quiet voice had told him about that Jesus she held in such high esteem. He couldn’t fathom her interest for a dead person which she persistently asserted was alive in her. What nonsense! She even had said that she prayed for him. Well, he didn’t need her prayers. He managed perfectly without them.
But, now he lay here completely helpless in a pool of blood unable to move. It was in that moment he heard steps. It was more like a light vibration in the floor than a perceptible sound. He opened his eyes. The room was flooded in light and he could see the feet of someone sitting in front of him. Surprisingly, he wasn’t afraid.