Faith and Desire – An Exchange between Nancy Gilmore and Me – Part 5


Ole Henrik: You know how it is: How we are assailed by doubt, the feeling of standstill, confusion (is this what I really want etc etc), the varying emotions, the overwhelming impossibilities, the waiting, the impatience, the pain……I am also reminded about the lie from Eden which even now daily confronts us: “Has God really said?” followed by a string of arguments why God can’t have said so. It can often be quite a challenge to doggedly push through that wall of lies and continue unwavering in faith trusting that God in fact has spoken. It is, however, definitely good training to be assailed from every direction.

Nancy: Your soul is very active… but that’s not you. . . you are spirit, and spirit is much deeper, or higher than soul. Soul is influenced by the world voices crashing up against your soul to assail you, to pull you down, to torment you. King David had that, and he told his soul to ‘shut-up!’   I’ve done the same over the years from time to time.  If you put your forefinger…one on each side of your temple… -that stuff that is playing between your two temples is like a tape recorder screeching going fast forward- and then on to continuous play, then rewinding and doing it again.  You have control over that! You can push the STOP button on that tape recorder any time you are sick and tired of that screaming noise, or tell that crap to shut-up like David did! And when you mean it, it will obey you. You’re in union with the One in authority.

The soul is vital for it is a go-between for the world to crash up against it and touch the Spirit of the living God; and for the Spirit-spirit union of Christ as you to flow out through the soul to the world! The soul can be like the turbulent sea turning and tossing in every direction by the voices of the world…. but the power is not in the waves of the sea, but in the depth of the sea where it is still and calm.  In actuality, you live in the depth of the sea with Christ; or riding the high place of the earth with Him.  Like I told you I sit in the balcony and watch the spotlight shinning on the different events in my life in the grand arena; you can do the same thing in viewing your life.  You can “separate yourself from all that noise” by taking your position in the throne room of God with Christ, standing with Him and seeing a far-off from all that stuff. Ask the Lord to take the scales off your eyes so that you can ‘see Him’ living as you, and you seated or standing with Him in the peace and power of the deep sea, or the throne room of God.

He will do that.

Ole Henrik: In part 3 you wrote: “I gave up trusting in myself back in those early years.” Do you trust yourself now when Christ as you is an established fact in you?

Nancy: You know what…it’s absolutely true, what you take, takes you. SO no, I never trust in my self. I trust in the Lord ONLY. . .- but then again He is my True Self!  So do I trust in my self?  Of course, I do. I’ve never thought much about it, though! He is the One I’m conscious of as me. . .and yet I just live and do what is within my means that I’d like to do. It’s a paradox. He is forever and always my means by which I do all things. I’ve more or less lost consciousness of my self; well, not really, here I am. Yet Christ occupies me with what He is doing. Except when I look in the mirror and see how much weight I gained, and then I always say to the Lord, I don’t like the way I look! I don’t think it’s good for me to carry all this weight, and sit at the computer all day, without getting any exercise; but there’s no sense of me asking you to help me lose all this weight, because I already know You’re not going to help me do anything. You’re going to take my place and do it for me, as me; and so far I still look fat! So I’m just going to be visualizing how thin and beautiful I really am; and I’m going to act like that too. Even on my deathbed, I’ll be thin and beautiful!

If I want to do something and am enabled to do it, I just do it, and count it as Christ living as me. If I want to do something and can’t do it, I just don’t do it and count it as Christ living as me. We are never self-acting-selves! NEVER!

I don’t become Christ. He is forever my ‘other half’… the Person I am joined too. He is the real Person living AS me. In fact He’s writing this to you right now. Or is it me? We only do what we see Him doing as us. And many times without much notice. We just find ourselves doing it even when we didn’t know previously we were going to be doing it. It’s a total spontaneous life of faith!

Being conscious of a Person who is your other half, puts the pressure on your other half.  I expect Christ to be living as me in every way! 24/7!

I will say He has done some risky things as me at times that I would have never done.  He doesn’t spare your reputation for a minute. But then, you don’t care, do you!  Well, you do, but you don’t! You are living in a suspended oneness with Christ. It’s an easy life! You just do the next thing. Or whatever you’re made to do. Whatsoever you desire. It is God who is at work in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure. He’s done some things as me, I would have never done. But then again, how can you help but do what you are made to do. It’s a totally relaxed life, and with the guarantee it is Christ living as you. He cannot lie! That’s our security-blanket, that comforts us. And he makes us “a cannot lie person, too”.

In the long run all you care about is others and the Lord doing His thing as you. I’m in control, because I’m always out of control. We are in the resurrection, and THAT HOLY Spirit of God in us knows more about our desire than we do!

There were times in the past when I thought I wanted a certain thing, and didn’t get it in the way I thought I would; and in later years I worship the Lord with all my heart for NOT letting things work out like I thought I wanted them too, earlier. You see the deepest desire in us is really Christ desiring our desires as us. He knows His own plan and He causes us to see our desire is exactly what we really wanted all along. This is what I mean by The Adventure of faith can be fun! It’s being loved in a Satisfied Life in a way that no other Person is able to produce.

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3 Responses to Faith and Desire – An Exchange between Nancy Gilmore and Me – Part 5

  1. pameladonnan says:

    ‘…..the power is not in the waves of the sea, but in the depth of the sea where it is still and calm……’ Wow! I want to live out of the depths (Christ) where it is still and calm. This is so evident in Nancy… What a thought provoking exchange this is! Thank you for sharing…. I have never considered this in this way before.

  2. This is where I have to come down to my knees and say “God, I dont want to live for myself, I just want You”.

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