Yesterday I had one of those epiphanies which bring relief to a troubled soul. It seems like I have a disposition towards being introspective, both consciously and unconsciously. My mind is preoccupied with what kind of person I am, and how I perceive myself often seems to contradict how I should be in order to be an effective witness about Jesus Christ. I am terribly introverted. I prefer my own company to being with others. When it comes to small talk I am completely hopeless. I can’t stand crowds and parties can be an ordeal. My mind is always busy with something or another, so often I seem quite distant to my surroundings. When I am not in the classroom I sit at my desk with headphones working on something. Not very much approachable, if you ask me. My social life is predominantly limited to interaction in cyberspace.
The thought which with a flash of light landed in my mind was that Eve in the Garden of Eden struggled with the exact identical sentiments as I do. Somehow she wasn’t very happy about herself, and when the serpent offered her a cure in order for her to become more Christ-like she immediately bit the bait. I am grateful that that period in my life is history, that is, that I would search for technics and ten-step guides in order to better myself. However, that subtle sensation that I should somehow be different is still present. In the aftermath of the landing of that thought a string of thoughts found it opportune to take this a step further and suggest that when self-introspection governed my mind and as a result making me think that I am not quite perfect as I am I was tempted in the same manner as Eve was.
The main idea in the thought is, however, that I am now in Christ. He has taken completely possession of me. Sin is cast out and I am new creation. That new creation is a perfect expression of God. So, if Christ in me is all the aforementioned then that is Him in His unique Ole Henrik form. If He has a problem with who I am then it is up to Him to take action. By God’s grace I am who I am. Perhaps you now understand why I mentally gave out a breath of relief when that epiphany flashed up my mind. I am okay despite all my oddities.
The order of things in my account is quite intriguing. First we have this subtle temptation which caused this usually stout son of God to doubt himself. Then God intervenes and turns the temptation and its repercussions into a glorious moment of insight, revelation and comfort. It thus seems to me that our Father somehow uses temptations to fix us further in Himself. No wonder then that James exclaimed: “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations.” (James 1:2)
Identity theft is proliferating in today’s society. New technology and our dependency on the digitalized world have made identity theft into a luxurious business for criminals. However, identity theft isn’t a new invention. We can trace its origin to a particular time and place. The kingdom of darkness has been busy depriving people of their identities ever since the fall. The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy, said Jesus. Our identity is one of the most valuable assets we have. Without it we are nothing. When it is shaken we are thoroughly traumatized. Perhaps no wonder then that our soul enemy puts great effort into telling us that we are not who we should be and hence propels us into a quest for becoming something we already are.