The Journey

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. (1 John 4:18)

There was a time in my life when the fear of death cast dark shadows over my existence. The sting of death was an almost daily nuisance and it rendered my soul to shrink in fear whenever it found an opportunity to bite. This sensation of helplessness aroused a spiritual hunger which at first led this stranger to the spiritual realm to explore Eastern philosophies for an answer. Karma and reincarnation seemed as plausible explanations to the big questions which death aroused. Even though the puzzle seemingly had found its consummation, fear reigned in the mind of the newly converted New Age adherent.

It wasn’t that the new philosophies encouraged towards much self-effort and an idea of bettering oneself that perpetuated this crippling feeling. I was ready to do anything necessary to qualify for a better existence in my next life. Fear plainly was a faithful companion during those years, and it caused soul pain and palpitations. I thought those manifestations would be history as soon as I had entered a more profound understanding of the spiritual realities I explored. Fear most likely was caused by imbalances in my yin and yangs. It would thus be a splendid idea to balance the Chakras. Unfortunately I didn’t have the crystals which would accelerate the process.

It is now God finds it opportune to interfere and begin convincing me about His existence, and He adds that there merely is one way to eternal life, and that is His son Jesus Christ. Since He is very persistent and persuasive I discovered that everything I believed in was wool. It could to a certain degree keep me warm, but it was without any substance. Fear now lost some of its grip. It wasn’t longer bothering me in a palpable physical way. However, I was afraid that if I didn’t do the right things and pleased my new master He would abandon me in disgust and anger. Hence, this rather ambitious and strong-willed son did His very best to live the new life in accordance to the guidelines He found in the scriptures and what other told him was necessary.

When I came to the end of myself I did so with a bang that most likely reverberated through the universe for several minutes. To walk in a depressive darkness is very instructive. It kind of prepares you for God’s grace. So when the revelation came that I was dead to the law and that His blessings were chasing me new hope and life were infused into this poor soul. There was a new lightness to my steps. The sun was shining again and life seemed promising. However, God was still up there and I was stuck here. I still wasn’t persuaded that my salvation was eternally secured, so there were still moments when fear found a crack in the defense and bit. I still wasn’t perfected in love.

God, however, had another surprise up His sleeve. He plainly told me that when I was born again I entered a union with Him; an indissoluble unity which would last forever. Christ thus lived my life as me and I was a perfect expression of Him. In other words, the mystery revealed. We might be tempted to think that Ole Henrik now was completely free and fearless. Dear reader, please do not hasten to immature conclusions, because Ole Henrik is a complicated guy. A new issue materialized: Can I completely trust my soul reactions even though I am in this union? Am I love as He is love? It was time for the Spirit to teach me about how appearances and erroneous mindsets regarding Jesus still kept me in bondage.

To see love perfected in a person denotes that a person’s faith reaches beyond the fact that God is love, that He is all in all and that everything works out for good for those who love Him and begins to trust himself. God is my keeper. He ingeniously utilizes my soul reactions to reach others through me. I am not always conscious of how His is doing that. I am merely myself with everything that entails. I do not longer judge my emotions or doings as good or evil. I have discovered that I am. I know that my Father cherishes challenges, and I somehow know that I have been an enjoyable challenge to Him. I can vividly imagine how He is smiling His best smile to me as I am settled in this magnificent truth. He probably says something along these lines: “Well, Ole Henrik, so here we are. It has been quite a journey, but now you have finally found your life again. We are companions, you know! I am in you and you in Me. But, the best is yet to come.”

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